Full disclosure. I’m a purse person. I guess that makes me a purson? But if I am going to splurge on something, I’d put a nice bag on the top of my list. I have built a decent but curated collection over the years (think quality, not quantity). But you can only use one purse at a time.
Another disclosure. US Magazine is my guilty pleasure. Knowing my time constraints (family, work, me-time finally made it in, and now this blog), I don’t get to sneak it in too often. But when I get the rare extra hour to get a mani pedi, I find it a fun enhancement to my uber-girly exuberance. I have always found their “What’s In My Bag” celeb feature to be quite futile frankly, a facetious way to shamelessly plug sponsor products. So there’s a good chance this post will be equally as un-riveting.
But last time I finally got around to switching bags, I was pretty amused by what I transferred from one to the other, in addition to those things I removed but kept aside (I.e. threw away).
- Splenda: There is always a couple of little yellows strewn haphazardly into the abyss of my bag. You never know when you’ll be in one of those dark ages establishments that only serve the pink and blue packets. And what is a Cup of Joe without something sweet?
- Glasses case: WITH cleaning cloth, thankyouverymuch. As a perma-foureyes, this is a nonnegotiable. I always carry my prescription sunglasses to switch into because whoever invented transition lenses wasn’t thinking about something called fashion, and somehow my glasses always look like I’every spent the day in a coal mine.
- Business Cards: Sometimes my own, but I usually forget to grab them before an important meeting. Has anyone ever actually gone through a full box of business cards? If so, it’s probably a sign you’ve been at the company too long. I often find other people’s cards from meetings past, because, like birthday party invitations, once you’ve given me your card, it’s as good as garbage. Can you even buy a Rolodex at Staples anymore? Is Staples even still in business? (Answer, barely.)
- House Keys: Never need em, because we are the dummies that never lock our doors. But Gull never carries them, and I’m an in-case-of-emergency kinda gal.
- Chapstick: Not lipstick. Just the Original Burt’s Bees varietal that never seems to deplete. There is nothing more distracting than talking to someone with dry, chapped lips. (Or lettuce in their teeth for that matter.)
- Wallet/IPhone/IPad: On the days when I don’t leave at least one of these items on my desk in the office, and have to call young Tommy and ask him to kindly stash the valuables in my top file cabinet drawer.
- Flip Flops: If I could go through life barefoot, I’d do it in a heartbeat, so any chance I get to not be wearing fancy pumps I’m swapping for my Havianas. I once wore them out to the point that my flip flop broke on the jet bridge before a business flight, and the flight attendant helped me MacGyver it back together with bandaids.
- Nail file: As I said before, I lost mani pedi time when we left the city and added in the commute, so my brittle nails are prone to cracking, snapping, and just being plain old jagged at any given time. That doesn’t work well with pantyhose so I need to have a remedy at the ready.
- Headphones: I recently made the modern day switch to the wireless Bluetooth variety. They come in handy when there is a loud talker on the train, or I am so totally wound up and need to chill with some music or a meditation when desperate.
- Gum: I’m a chewer. I don’t ever want to be caught with bad breath. How do people not do something about that? I don’t snap or blow bubbles (unless the kids beg because they think their mom can do a cool trick), but it’s a habit I’m not willing to give up. And with gum come wrappers, lots of empty wrappers because I am unequivocally NOT a litter bug.
- Work ID: Not my favorite mug shot but it gets me into the office and it stores my funds for the state of the art cafeteria at the office. It has one of those nerdy retractable belt loop attachments, but I wouldn’t be caught dead actually wearing that sucker!
- Hair clips! I almost forgot hair clips! I always have a good strong jaw clip (with at least one broken tooth of course) so I can toss up my not-really -straight hair when it gets unruly. This enhances what I’ve been told is my librarian look, which is apparently a compliment in some cases.
That’s about it. The staples that make up my purses. The bigger, the messier. And the never do seem big enough, do they? Sure there will be other things that make cameos, especially on a Monday morning after a weekend in mom mode. I’ll find a tiny pink sock, or a pair of surfer dude shades, or a matchbox car that someone threw in there for safe keeping. And the things I never seem to have? All the stuff people assume women carry around with them like Advil (if you’re really lucky I’ll have an expired travel pack), a hairbrush, tissues, bandaids. Nope I’m just not that gal.
That’s it folks, my purse. I love to lug em, but don’t dare look in mine expecting to see makeup, perfume, or first aid kits. I’m as utilitarian as they get. I may not be an open book, but now I’m officially an open pocketbook.